OPEN LETTER TO A GIRL CHILD by Makgatla Thepa-Lephale

OPEN LETTER TO A GIRL CHILD

Dear girl child, please allow me to start by saying a small prayer for my girl child and boy children before I proceed with my letter. Ntate wesho wa Magodimong please give me strength and wisdom to raise my girl child in knowing that no joy comes in having affair with married men and older men. May she be protected from vultures of this world disguised as men, preying at young girls to satisfy their lust. Ntate Modimo, I am also praying that you give my sons wisdom to grow into responsible men who will never treat women as objects, especially sex objects that they can use and toss around just like that, Amen!

Now that we are done with prayer, let me address issues regarding the letter. For sure many are asking why a letter to girl child specifically, my answer is simple, in a society that is patriarchal and always ready to cast stones to a girl child every time something goes wrong between her and a man, I sympathize with a girl child. 

This letter is informed by the newspaper articles reported on older married men having sex, transnational or not, with young girls with some young enough to be their daughters or even granddaughters, shame on them. Now, let’s get to the point, I am writing this letter to advice and warn you against scavengers of this world masquerading as men. 

In an era of blessers and mavuso now moreki, I know the temptation is there to entertain these men, especially when you come from disadvantaged family, but trust me ngwaneso, is not worth it. I know and understand the situation of feeling hopeless and pressured to own certain material things but remember easy comes easy go, so please stay away from bakgalabye and married men because nothing joyous comes out that and its always you who get hurt in situations like this.

You see, I know you feel pressured to fit in, that’s why you even bleach your skin to appear “yellow” so that you can attract these men, but it is always you who get hurt when they dump you or don’t give you the “good life” you wish to have. In a society that education is still commodified and unemployment so rife it might not be easy for you to resist men flaunting their money in to your face. You might feel the urge to get involved with them all in the name of economically emancipating yourself, but bear in mind, there is nothing for mahala in this world. 

These old married men will use you and spit you out like a used chappies. There is a new trend this days, of getting involved with celebrities and politicians, in a quest to expose them to the world for their shenanigans, well it never ends well for you girl child. While you busy trying to play victim, of which I believe you will be victim, society will turn you into a villain and your villain will be turned into a victim. Society will be sympathising with that old man or celebrity who used you and dumped you like a hot potato. They will be accusing you of trying to break families, trying to extort money, accuse you of being a prostitute and all sorts of nasty things they can throw at you, as if you forced those men to be unfaithful.

Girl child, every time you think of entertaining these men who lure you with their flashy cars and money, remember this, the world is not friendly to you, society does not care about you, men are in charge because ours is a patriarchal society that have no regards for women, that’s why they don’t even believe that the world is ready for female president, another debate for another day. Always remember that it is you who will be mocked, it is you who will be painted with a “whore” brush while the man will be praised for his deeds. The sad pathetic thing is, fellow women will be also laughing at you, they will be gossiping about how you tried to break celebrity so and so’s family, you will be accused of being used by politician A to destroy politician B.

Be alert girl child, politicians and male celebrities are out there to destroy you and make you look bad. You are making it easy for them because you fall for their charms, they promise you heaven and earth and you believe them. They then put their greedy claws into your panty and then throw you away to go back to their forgiving wives and partners while you end up alone and miserable with a tainted image. You need to know that society is not as forgiving as their partners and wives. I know most of you will probably laugh at this letter, and not take the advice, but when the paw paw hit the fan, I will be there to say sorry but then I will also utter these words “ngwanamagana o botswa, o wetsedikomengaredikomaketseso.

Makgatla Thepa-Lephale is a community and gender activist, founder of Ponelopele Children's Library in Botlokwa. She is a mother and wife who loves writing about current affairs.