Young black woman deserves to be protected and defended, writes Makgatla Thepa-Lephale

I have never been a fan of Idols, a singing competition on M-NET that is on our screens every Sunday. I only come across Idols on Facebook when my friends update about the winner. I only learnt of the winner of this season on my Facebook page. I was not going to offer my opinion about whether the contestant deserves to win or not until I bumped into a very nasty comment about the winner. Noma Khumalo, the beautiful young lady who won the Idols of this season, was being shamed for her body size. What puzzled me more was that the person who body shamed Noma is a young woman herself. I cannot believe that in this age we still judge young woman’s successes based on their body types. It is in fact worrying that in a world where young women are fighting for space to exist, in a patriarchal society, they still have to deal with shaming from fellow young women. 

Idols SA Noma Khumalo. Picture from Facebook

Society itself is harsh on young black women, because too much judgment is passed on us. If it’s not about our hair, is about our weight. Why should we deal with the judgment from fellow sisters when we are supposed to embrace and protect each other against the harshness of the world?Living in a society that put so much pressure on young women, especially black women, it is difficult to manoeuvre as a young black woman. The body shaming by that one young woman on Facebook has pierced through my heart. I personally know the struggle of being body shamed. Having to constantly deal with comments like “wa tla wa nona” (you have gained weight) is so frustrating because you never know how to respond to such comments. It will be very shallow to think that every person who is fat is not healthy. It is actually sad that despite the historical background that black women had to travel the harshest journey of fighting to be validated and accepted as equal beings in society, they still have to deal with petty bitter women who cannot appreciate and celebrate other women. I understand that not all of us will celebrate when another black young woman rises, but to demean her, is equally disgusting and non-progressive.

It is enough that the world put so much unnecessary pressure on us as young black women, because according to society, we are unable to achieve certain things on our own. We don’t have to deal with such roughness and oppression from each other. Why can’t we protect each other against the pressures and harshness of this world? I understand that Noma was in a competition, and with any competition, people will always have their preferences, but it does not mean that if your preference did not make it you have a right to go out and insult or throw nasty comments at the one you did not prefer. It is so unfortunate that after the author of the status of body shaming Noma, invited all sorts of insults at herself. She herself is being body shamed. I was tempted to condemn the attacks on her as I condemned the attacks on Norma, then I saw how she continued to be rude and enjoying all the attention that came with body shaming another woman. Then I passed and just thought out loud that “ke moipolai a llelwe, sellosa gage ke moropa re yabina” – the one who commits suicide is not cried for, if he or she cries, it is like a drum, we dance.

After that Facebook body shaming status, I realised that as women we are far from uniting and fighting patriarchy. We are frontrunners of patriarchyperpetuation. We lose the bigger picture. We are not aware of the ongoing struggle that we face of having to fit in society that devalues us. We wonder why people believe that South Africa is not ready for female president, when we are busy body shaming each other on social networks. We need each other as young women; we need to hold each other’s hands in navigating this harsh patriarchal society. We need to protect each other against any malice and shaming that comes our way. We don’t have to agree with each other but we can be able to differ in a dignified manner. We can still differ without losing respect for each other. 

From where I am sitting, the only sin young Noma Khumalo committed was winning the competition which was against the wishes of others. Noma won the competition because she is gifted and impressed judges. We should celebrate her talent instead of lamenting on her looks. Noma like any young black woman deserves to be protected and defended from anyone who wants to demean them because of their body size. Women need to unite in fighting patriarchy and unnecessary pressure from society for they have nothing to lose but their bitterness and jealousy. We need to rise above pettiness and focus on the bigger battle for fighting patriarchy so that a girl child can inherit society where it is ok to be a young black woman and be thick without having to be judged. 

Makgatla Thepa-Lephale is the founder of Ponelopele Kids Library in Limpopo and social community activist for the rights of children in rural areas.